Stop this shame!!!

2012 - The year started with the heart wrenching stories of baby Falak and Afreen and ends with the tragic stop to a young life Damini, Nirbhaya or Amaanat - whatever you chose to call the brave soul. While they were set in different circumstances, all share a common sentiment - of hurt, of shame and of indomitable courage. The hell they lived through, is a testament of how low has the human stooped. The world watched helplessly as the innocent lives fought in their struggle for life before they could take no more. They affected most of us. We rallied for stringent laws, better and responsible policing, faster judicial processes but is that going to be enough? The ones who committed the ghastly, inhuman crimes, were one among us. As a society, we have failed ourselves. Always believed that a child's first school is his home and his first role models are his parents. We live a paradoxical society, where on one hand we worship female forms and consider them symbols of strength, wisdom and prosperity and on the other, the women folk are considered second in the patriarch driven society. Every other day, we come across battered women who are ill-treated in their family, and in the society at large. While we all condemn such ill-practices, they still continue unhindered, unabated. If we wish to see an end to the crimes against women, we need to change, we need to teach our children to value and respect life. If not, no matter what measures we take, there'll never be an end to it.

Damini, every girl in the society relates to your pain. It's never been easy being a girl in this country. Most girls in the country have had their helpless moments, some were lucky to escape, while some where not, some lived to fight, while some could fight no more. But the pain you've been through in this brief life you've lived, is unthinkable to say the least. Yet, the strength you have shown is an inspiration for all of us. May you be at peace now and find your rightful place among the angels.

Home calling...

11 long years, it’s been since I left the home of my childhood. The address still etched in my mind, the memories still vivid. I can still run through those rooms in my mind. Each corner, each shelf, each photograph, so clear. The noise of the incessant rain hitting the roof, the comfort of the winter sun in the front porch, the furry touch of our pet, summer evenings spent star gazing with my dad on his easy chair, the smell of the ripe oranges in the winter afternoons, still fresh in my mind. I wonder how long it’s been and yet I still remember... The mind, in its strangest of capabilities has a way to preserve memories close to the heart.

Home is where the family is, I always told myself, never believing it though. The brick-concrete pile up too, is part of the memories. And I left mine over a decade back, never to see it again. Since then, had 5 addresses to call my home, but never connected. It gives a sense of comfort to see places that you grew up seeing, meet people, you grew up talking to. 

Life is about a constant change. Old give way to the new. Old experiences make way for new escapades. But somewhere, in some teeny weeny corner of the mind, you keep pilling up those memories... 

Merry Christmas!

Just like many, December is the best time of the year for me. As a child, December was always a favorite. The dreaded exams would finally be over and schools would close down for the winter break. Last day of the exam was special with the pre-Christmas festivities. Christmas carols were sung, the nuns enacted the play of Jesus Christ's birth and we stuffed loads of goodies and finally it was time for the goodbyes to the friends and teachers. Back home, I had the liberty to do almost anything! It never felt better. The sacrifices made, had given way to indulgences... It was almost I had conquered the Everest :) A few days into the vacation, and I would start prepping up for the Christmas. Making greeting cards, shopping for little stars and bells that I could hang on my Christmas tree and the grand party with all my brothers and friends on the Christmas eve. We danced, played and teased around the bonfire until our parents coaxed us to get back home. It was a ritual for me too, to hang a pair of socks for Santa's presents and my dear mom never failed to tuck in some chocolates in them. That was Christmas for me. Nothing grand, nothing fancy. Simple yet very special memories. As I grew, I realized understood the true essence of Christmas. Thanks to the wonderful story by O'Henry "Gift of the Magi". Some stories remain etched in your hearts, while you forget some. The story of Jim and Della, their love and sacrifice, reflects the true spirit of Christmas - spreading love and joy. 

Have a wonderful Christmas and best wishes for the festive season!

PS. The fairy tales I would read myself to sleep had a very different picture of Christmas. A white Christmas. I would dreamily gaze at it and say to myself that one day I would see it for real. That's one wish that's yet to come true. Hope it does, someday. 

A man who made a forest

It is late in the night and sleep seems to have betrayed me. Came across a small yet stirring article while I surfed the net. A man who created a forest. At a glance, sounded a bit strange to me. Of all my years of existence, had heard a zillion times how not-so-good people and not-so-bad-yet-helpless people encroached into the wild, disturbing the delicate balance of nature and life. I am aware of the few good people fighting for preservation of the wild. But this one seemed different, too good to be true kind of story. A story that made me realize that it’s not important how many or how few people are there with you when you want to do something good. You can make all the difference, just by yourself when you have the right intent and perseverance!

The Man and his Forest

The article goes how a labourer, Jadav Payeng, at a tree plantation site of the social forestry division chose to stay back after the completion of the project, to plant more trees over a span of 30 years; eventually turning it into a forest that now spreads across 550 hectares. The Mulai Kathoni or the Mulai forest, what it’s called now after its creator’s nick name, is now home for the wild – rhinos, tigers, deer and myriad varieties of our  avian friends to name a few.

I have often questioned myself how does the contribution of a single individual or a group of like minded people match against a race hell driven to its own destruction? Wonder if such questions ever cropped up in Jadav Payeng’s mind. Probably never; else he wouldn't have ever succeeded in accomplishing such an exemplary feat. I realize that the sense of logic and judgment that we have developed with our knowledge and experience in dealing with the world, is actually our curse. We think a lot, but do very little. We know what’s going wrong, but have arguments to let it be. We have everything at our disposal - information, technology and probably resources compared to the Jadav Payengs of the world. Yet we stand tiny in front of such humble human beings, who have so less but have given back to the world much more. 

I salute. I aspire.

A life to live...?

Ignorance is bliss, though short lived. As I bask in the bliss of my ignorance, I can’t help but notice the heart wrenching stories of crimes committed against the little girl child all around. An uneasy silence within, I shrug, it makes my guts twist and turn, as I try to grasp how far has the human gone.. As disgraceful as it might sound, India reports millions of female infanticides every year. Love for the son has gone way too far has transformed sheer hatred for the girl. But for what crime?

Society and prejudice go hand in hand. In a society which was built with a foundation that a boy bears the legacy of the family, while a girl is no more than a liability; it is not surprising to see where things are headed. A thought process inflicted with such prejudice and stigma continues to be rampant no matter how progressive the society becomes.

An oppression that began eons ago with the debate of which gender is superior, seems to be thriving even in this age after having survived countless generations, having passed on as a heritage. Why get into a debate which is a paradox to the core? Either couldn't have made it without the other. So who or what determines who has an upper hand?

A girl child could be as good as a boy, only if you gave her a chance to survive. 

Something like happiness..

It happened out of the blue. It was a promotion that was long due I was told by my skip level manager.  I had been expecting it for over a year now. But as luck would have it, it didn't until now. I did well, I knew. Three awards. A missed opportunity of being in my dream company. A missed promotion. A roller coaster ride, it's been for the last year and a half. And now, finally it was happening. Unlike what I had imagined, I wasn't neither happy nor excited. It was just a sense of relief... While I wondered at my lack of happiness, I felt a sense of satisfaction for the acknowledgement I received for my efforts. But that was it. I realized that getting something doesn't make us as happy, as not getting the same thing saddens us. While we waste countless moments fretting over things that didn't happen or have the remotest chance of happening, we miss countless moments when we could have been happier not worrying about them in the first place.

Do we realize that things that actually make us happy are quite different from what we have or want to achieve, what makes us happy and what simply adds to our satisfaction? I.Wish - isn't that what drives all of us? All of us have a wishlist - big or small, grand or humble - all of us do. We sacrifice, we toil, we compromise - just to see that wish coming true. But at the end, does it always taste as sweet as we imagined it to be? That's something we should sit down and ponder.

Sit back and prioritize!

Yeh shaam mastani...

It was Five in the evening as we half slept and half watched a movie on a lazy sunday afternoon. A sudden rush of enthusiasm ran through me. Lets pack up some snacks and carry some tea to the lake, I blurted. It had been a while since we last drove to a water reservoir 20 kms down to see the beautiful colours of the sky and the lake as the sun went down for the day. At first, A was thought it was one of my silly blaberings. But soon he realized it wasn't as I headed off to the put the ingredients for the tea onto the stove. And shortly, we were driving to the lake singing our hearts out...

The sun had just started to sink as I poured us some tea and opened a pack of snacks. It was a moment which could have looked nothing more than ordinary to a fellow passerby, but for the two of us it was special as we sat together sharing a beautiful view and sipping some tea as we conversed.    

Life’s Beautiful!

Probably sounds like someone mocking at you with a sly grin. But Life's duplicitous and that’s how it’s meant to be – after all there can’t be sunshine without a sunset. We breathe countless moments without realizing how beautiful and special they are; but once the moment is gone, we long for them in our hearts. How foolish it is! I realized I didn’t want to make a mistake by losing myself in this mad rush or losing mind over inane things, but rather but sit back and take notice of little things in life, learn to appreciate them. 

After all it's one life to live, one life to love! And yes, Life is beautiful with all its imperfections…

A dialogue with myself

Who am I? I find myself asking. No I haven’t lost my memory yet! On a more serious note, too many yet too few words – a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend, a career-driver woman, a home maker and so on; but that would rather be what role I play in a given social context, how good or bad I am; but that would depend on perspective which too doesn’t sound very reasonable, maybe it is what I have accomplished; but this would be what I have rather than who I am, or is it my conscience and emotional quotient which define how I respond to various stimuli; probably but not in entirety.

When I was younger, I was so sure of who I was, until a day came when I realized I had transformed into someone I never knew – for good or for worse. It was a strange feeling of contradiction after having seen the goodness in me as well as the meanness.  With time I came to terms with my own self. I learnt. I forgave. I realized I had only one ‘me’ to love and there was no escaping that fact. While some change over a period of time some, evolve. Someday when I’m done, I would rather believe, I evolved.